We Don’t Need Valentine’s

Today is Valentine’s. I’m currently at the car shop with a flat tire and working the rest of the day. She’s taking the toddler to the dentist. After school, one kid is in a short-term bowling league, so she’s hauling all four of them over there. It lasts just long enough to barely make it to the Valentine’s School Dance (which is actually on Valentine’s. I haven’t decided if that’s a positive for a couple hours off or a burden for having to do it). But so far, only the girls want to go; the boy may or may not. So we don’t know if we’ll just have the toddler tonight or two boys.

Happy Valentine’s. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

This so-called holiday has never really worked out for us. At the beginning, my second jobs would get in the way. If delivering pizzas, it was almost required to be there because the parents going out on a date wanted to order something for the kids. Or while working at the Ryman Auditorium, there would most definitely be a show, because there needs to be a concert for lovers to attend. Our plans would typically never form, or we’d try to make up for it the night before or after.

But it’s probably bothered me more than my wife. I’m more of the hopeless romantic anyway. Every year since our first Valentine’s together, I would give her a rose on what was our dating anniversary and each day until Valentine’s. Every year! This year she was not surprised because I had left a reminder for myself on the online calendar. And I must have gotten the worst batch of flowers from Kroger because every rose I gave would die the next day. I left one as a surprise to find, but the morning was so chaotic that it was a burden for her to have to deal with it.

Happy Valentine’s. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

I don’t even know how you handle babysitting on Valentine’s anyway. Either you’re asking another couple to not do their Valentine’s, or saying “Hey, you’re single! Why don’t you babysit for us?!”

But here’s the good news. We don’t need Valentine’s. Valentine’s happens the rest of the year. You can’t make up for 364 days of being a lame husband on one candlelight dinner. But you can miss one night intended to be romantic, if you’ve done enough the rest of the year.

If the only time you’re romantic is on Valentine’s, then you’re no romantic at all. What for? So you can overspend on unnecessary stuff to try and pay off your shortcomings? No. (Though why wife says she would not reject jewelry if I wanted to get her something).

Valentine’s happens when I come home and let her take a bath in peace and quite while I do homework with the kids. Valentine’s happened last weekend when she let me sleep in on a Saturday. It happens when I took all her work supplies to her car for her so she wouldn’t have to worry about it in the morning.

It happened when she did my part of the housework while I was having a rough day. It’s when I had a pack of decaf k-cups delivered to her office because she complained about the brand she had. It’s knowing each other so well that the best present at Christmas wasn’t on anyone’s list. It’s taking date nights once or twice a month.

Valentine’s happens with the hugs, kisses, hand-holding, glances, notes, favorite TV shows, and midday messages throughout the whole year. So if this over-blown holiday doesn’t work out like it does in the movies, don’t worry. You’ve got all year to show the love of your life, why they’re the love of your life.

Joseph, what was it like?

If you were able to take a trip in my stream of consciousness, it would be quite an adventure. Especially the times when I drift off during sermons. It’s usually because the preacher says something that triggers a thought, and I just go with it. One of the things I ponder quite frequently, is about the people who are mentioned briefly in the Bible and what happened in the rest of their story. The woman at the well, the leper, the Ethiopian eunuch. Their appearance lasts less than a day and only a couple paragraphs. The rich young ruler: he “left sad” but did he actually make a change or not? What happens next?!

But one story in particular sticks out, almost like this gaping hole in the storyline of the Bible — What happened to Joseph the father of Jesus? 

We know a few things about Joseph. Of course he is in the story of the birth of Christ, and again at the temple when Jesus is 12. We know he and Mary had many other children. He had a reputation; when Jesus began his ministry, people said “Isn’t this the carpenter’s son?”

But as a father myself, especially as a foster parent; what was it like to be given the responsibility of a child who wasn’t yours? And, oh yeah, He’ll also be the Messiah. What was it like to be chosen as the earthly father for the son of God? What pressure did he feel? 

There’s the song “Mary, Did You Know? I want to ask “Joseph, What Was It Like?”

Jesus came as a baby. Someone had to teach him to walk, eat, talk. Say “please.” Say “thank you.” We have three toddlers in the house right now. It’s hard for me to imagine a toddler that doesn’t occasionally cry about eating vegetables. So one could assume Jesus as a 2-year-old would do the same and Joseph had to deal with negotiating how many more bites were necessary before Jesus could go play. 

But Jesus, of course, was special. He was asking questions and talking with scholars in the temple at age 12. But it says when He left there, He was obedient to His parents. He grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man. Joseph had a hand in guiding this growth. How did he conduct himself? How did he parent? Did he maintain composure at all times? As Joseph, do you give Jesus rules to follow? Maybe instead he uses a more subtle and traditional approach and talks to Jesus in stories, or parables. How much Joseph-like mannerisms did Jesus learn and apply to His style of teaching?

How protective was Joseph? Was he paranoid that someone might want harm his kid? Especially after Herod’s slaughter. Did that feeling ever go away or did he have unfailing faith?

Joseph as the father would have been the one to lead the family in the annual Passover meal. As he broke the bread and passed the cup, did he grasp the full implication and symbolism of the moment? Did he grasp the magnitude of it all and, as a result, feel pride or weight? 

What if God had chosen one of us? What if we had the responsibility to take His message, Emmanuel – God with us, and care for it? What kind of example would we be living? How would we present ourselves on a daily basis? Would we feel like we had this inconceivable treasure in our possession? 

Would we celebrate more? Would we worry less?

What if we had been given the gift of the Son of God?

Well, that’s exactly what happened. 

The gift is yours.

Congratulations! For today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.